Hari nih aku "down"..

Dear Beautiful readers,

Alhamdulillah, I am almost fully recovered from batuk & flu. Memang musim kut skrang nih, tgk luar tingkap pun...asyik hazy ja.

Anyway, aku rasa down lagik. Ntah laa..nak kata pikir2 sangat, tak jugak. Nak kata tak pikir pun, ada gak tetiba je benda nih dtg ngan sendiri.

I think I have tried my best. Being in this department still makes me feel that I am the worst, aku nak ckp apa2 pun (especially to my fellow subordinates) I really have to carefully construct my sentences. Mcm tadi, since aku dah kena ganti my other colleague (she just moved to another "subsidiary") i.e. i have to take over her section (another new challenge). There's a new lady coming to replace me and yeah, it looks like she "received" different kind of treatment. Aku tak kisah, i am happy for her (we have mutual friends, adik dia pun budak batch aku masa study dulu).

Yang aku terkilan, anak2 buah aku still macam tak puas hati. Ada je benda yg they think that I have done wrong. Aku serba salah. Siap aku ternampak satu email from one of my problematic staff sent to my future staff saying "korang ambik laa boss lama kami yang &!!&*%^&())(*)##***^, kami dah dpt boss baru" (something like that...)

I am quite sad about this, although ada a few friends said that I have to "persetankan" semua nih.

But me being me...i am not that satisfied because aku tak pasti apa salah aku.

Aku pening. Aku terasa dipinggirkan. Aku ingat, kat office bleh ler buat cam family (ye laa, being far away from family and not having many friends) My other two subordinates yang spoilt brat nih pun...ermm..ntah laa. Ikutkan hati aku rasa nak "lempang" gak...tapi aku berangan je, aku tetap sabar and I know...aku takkan sampai ke tahap kejam camtuh.

Nih memang betul cabaran kat aku. Aku betul2 diuji. Ujian kaw2 jugak laa..memang cabaran.

Aku kdg2 tak penah rasa down camnih. Tak tahu lagi mcm mana aku nak pen down all these stories..

Tuhan saja yang tahu...

P/S; Bak kata Sha, Tuhan akan menguji kita setakat kemampuan kita.

Why? Why? Why?

Dear Beautiful readers,

Semalam memang bosan. But I have to "quarantine" myself before I am fully "cured". But what frustrated me most was, I don't know why I still couldn't get what i m hoping for since ages..

Something wrong with me? Am i being too insecure / secure? Or it's just me to begin with?
Memang susah teramat...

Aku pelik camana org lain boleh ada...is that too expensive? is that too valuable? is that too special and only for certain "chosen people'? Am i not the one?

Kadang2 aku terpikir...what so particularly special about this person, that he can get one and I think I am at the same par (at least) but I couldn't get any!

WHy? Why? WHy? WHy? I hate asking this but...i have no choice

P/S: "Kerna aku cinta kamu, hari2 aku kan menjadi hari kamu,kerna syarat hidup disayangi...."

2nd MC

Dear Beautiful readers,

Aku MC lagi hari nih. Ntah laa...bangun pagi tadi after Subuh aku terus ke klinik. Tup2 the 24hrs clinic yang aku pegi the day before tuh...mcm semua org masih "tidur". Guard dia kasi aku masuk...tunggu punya tunggu aku cam fed up.Doctor mcm takde (sebenarnya ada, tapi aku rasa duk tidoq), the nurse pun ntah pi mana! So i drove all the way to other areas to find clinic.

Arrived at another 24hrs clinic in Taman Dagang. The nurse told me that "doctor sampai pukul 9!"
What the f***!

Kata 24 hrs, tapi takde doctor? hmm..i wonder!

Menguji kesabaran betul.

Then i drove back to the first clinic that i went earlier. Got another day off although the doctor kata aku tak demam, cuma aku risau pasal batuk nih..

Spent time at home je today...what a bliss!

Tapi aku still rasa lemah..

MC

Dear Beautiful readers,

First time ever aku keje with this Company (for bloody six years) aku ambik MC.
That means...i am really sick.

Pening kepala. Dizzy and rasa berat.Batuk

Wish me well soon..

Sakit

Dear Beautiful readers,

Kawe batuk. *cough* *cough* *cough*

Migraine. Pening.

But still have the guts to go to work (adakah aku hamba keje or me just being responsible?)

Pi klinik, doctor kata demam biasa..cuma if it's getting worse, she asked me to come back again for a blood test.

Get well soon.

Take care

Hikmah

Dear Beautiful readers,

Kadang2 tuh, if you really want "a thing" (tak kisah laa apa2 pun), but u didn't get it that easily, there's always a blessing in disguise or hikmah.

That's what happened to me this afternoon when I really want to a "Blackberry" for myself. Went to Maxis KLCC but I kept thinking that I am not gonna change to a Maxis number, or any new number. Just want to maintain the number that I am using currently.

And yes, let's blame the PC Fair, KLCC was damn packed with sea of peole.

Anyway, I bought a book from Kino - New Malaysian Essay 2 (bunch of good Malaysian writers, i like!, especially Amir Muhammad)

I went to Avenue K Food Court for lunch, the Indonesian lady who manned one of the stalls siap tanya aku:

"Baru kluar jalan2 ya? Hmmm tidak kluar dengan pacar?"

What a question! Hahaha...tak nampak ke aku nih sorang? Kalau aku berdua pun, mcm ler the other party tuh pacar aku! Aku tiada pacaran dengan siapa2 pun...:-(

And well...cut it short, aku still tak puas hati pasal tak dapat Blackberry. Then I shot to Pavi, kut2 bleh grab any good deals kat Blue Cube. (Teruk kan..semalam dah gi Pavi and today pun gi lagi...takpe laa, aku tak susahkan sapa2 pun). But again, kat Blue Cube pun, kena ambik package, leceh...and aku malas nak ke Low Yat to get the Blackberry.

That's what I called hikmah..Hikmah that I won't spend my money as and when I need, without thinking the amount that I might spend :-)

Untuk sedapkan hati aku, aku pi Zara beli tie and singgah The Loaf beli cup cheese cake.

And headed home...lalalalalalallalaalalallalala

Lenovo & UCB

Dear Beautiful readers,

Hari nih mcm best pulak tido. Probably aku letih and in need of my beauty sleep :-).

I rarely wake up late every morning. Tapi tadi terus terlajak sampai 1030 hours :)

Had lunch with Fakh pasal he wanted to pass me that batik pants that he bought for me from Indonesia. Pakai buat tido je laa..

Then dia singgah umah aku main wii...:)

Right after Asar aku dah janji ngan ER nak kuar gi Low Yat and Pavi. And as planned earlier, memang aku nak pamper myself..

And tarrraaaaaaaaaaaa...

Ended up buying a Lenovo netbook for myself (ER bought his too...macam senang je kitaorg beli, cam beli nasi, so teruk!) and a new UCB bag (2 in 1). Aku frust kut pasal takleh balik kg..hehehe

No laa..probably i just want to make myself happy.

P/S; Esok another retail therapy.